I Believe In You Baby

Dating is not for the faint of heart. Especially, dating after divorce. I'm really not even sure how people manage to do it at all, let alone as frequently and recklessly as they do. It's all fun and games at the start until the new guy/gal does something that was "exactly what my ex used to do." BAM. Game on. It's like all this stored up crap comes bubbling up to the surface from your past and you become a different person. More accurately, you become the person you used to be. And not one that you liked so much during the last go around. It's such a knee-jerk reaction when it happens that it will completely catch you off guard, I guarantee it. You'll never see it coming. Suddenly, you step outside yourself and see this person (you) acting like a complete lunatic.

It's embarrassing and it's humbling and it's devastating, all at the same time.  And suddenly, you're right back where you were. You're right back to the start of all the hurt, the anger and the pain. It's like not a single day has elapsed since the day it all fell apart. And it crushes your heart.

But then. Then you look into the eyes of this person standing in front of you and you notice something. You notice that his eyes are gentle and kind. And you notice that he is continuing to look at you with love and understanding and he's not running away. He's not going anywhere. In fact, he's pulling you in for a hug that will bring you back from the edge. He's speaking gently to you and reassuring you because he KNOWS where you have gone just now. He knows what has happened to you in that moment and he's there to make sure that you return. To him. And all is well and right with your world once again.