Thursday, June 5, 2014

Small Town Neighbors


Sometimes I feel kind of sorry for my neighbors. They just never really know what they're going to have to deal with on any given day. Just the other day, for instance, my neighbor drove by the house and saw that the llama and all four goats were standing on the lawn. They were supposed to be in the pasture, of course, but the gate had opened and they just decided to head out for some greener pastures.

Luckily, this neighbor knows me and he knows my family. He went up to my sisters' house and said to her, "Your goats and llama are out." To which my smart ass sister replied, "I don't have a llama."

She then sighed and said, "I guess it's my sisters' animals." She then did what we do in our small town, tight knit family and she called my Dad. She explained the situation and he said he would go to my house and handle it. My neighbor even offered to help! When I got the call from my sister, I immediately called my Dad to hear this, "Dammit llama, what is your problem?" Lots of heavy breathing, shouting instructions I couldn't quite make out, a little swearing...

"DAD!!" I yelled into the phone.

"Oh, yeah, hi. I'm trying to get this stupid llama back into the pen. The goats were easy but this thing is not."

"Whatever you do, DON'T try to touch him," I said, "He hates that."

So my Dad and my neighbor spent the next 20 minutes chasing the llama. Did they have better things to do that day? I'm sure they did but when you live in Dexter and you see some loose farm animals in the yard, you stop and you put them in. My other neighbor told me about the time he had to stop and catch one of my sisters' cows and put it back in the fence. I've also had to round up horses, sheep and even a stray chicken every now and again. Last spring, one of my neighbors called me to ask if anyone in the area was raising pea hens because he had a few of them turn up at his place. I immediately recalled that the neighbor just around the corner from him had mentioned getting some not too long ago. Connection made.

And this is why I live here. This is why I stay here. This is why I make this my home. It truly does take a village.....

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Have A Nice Trip....




I have never been a graceful person. Ever. I have always been prone to slipping, falling, crashing and tumbling everywhere I go. I had a friend who used to tell me “You’re not clumsy, you’re just athletic and therefore, unafraid to move your body." Whatever. I still land on my @ss a lot of the time.

Case in point. I went out with a friend last night for dinner. I had recently helped him with some child care issues and he offered to take me out to repay me for it. So I’m comfortable with this person but not so much that I’m ready to completely embarrass myself.

Anyway, it was raining really hard last night. Torrential downpours actually. He offered to drop me off at the door to the restaurant but I didn’t think that was necessary. There was a close parking spot and I said that we could just “make a break for it”. Except I was wearing cute sandals. Cute sandals that are not made for “Tough Mudder type” dashes through deep puddles of water.

He parked the car and we jumped out and started to run for the door. I might also mention that there were about four people standing under the awning outside the restaurant (wisely) waiting for the rain to stop before going to their cars. So, you know, witnesses.

I took about two steps before the first sandal came off. Went flying, actually. I turned to go after it and then the other sandal, now soaking wet, went sideways on me. My friend, being a gentleman, had also stopped in the middle of this downpour to see what was going on with me. He said “Just take off your shoes” and I said, “No, I’ve got this. No problem. Hold on.” I did not have this. Not at all. I continued to try to get my shoes back under me with limited success. Meanwhile, the people in front of the restaurant were now alternating between laughing out loud and yelling encouragement. “Take off the shoes!”, “Leave them behind!”, “Run for it!”

My face was beet red by the time we got to the front of the restaurant plus we were SOAKED. I must’ve looked like a drowned rat and my shoes were still a bit slippery. This is so “par for my course”. On my first date with my (now) ex-husband, I fell backwards over a cinderblock. In a skirt.

During my high school graduation I “walked out” of my shoe during the processional. The sweet guy I was walking with, Todd, had no idea why I was pulling away from him and running back through the oncoming graduates. He looks so incredibly confused in the video.

Maybe this is why I’m single….

I've Got You