Agony (Warning: Female Content)

My body has decided to rebel. Apparently I haven't been paying enough attention to it or I've been running it too hard or whatever, but the jig is up. My "systems" have decided to, inexplicably and without warning, turn against me. Things that had always been a certain way (27 days days apart - 5 days long) just weren't anymore. And so I find myself on the threshold of a hysterectomy. At 41. Kind of weird. Not really the way I saw things going for me but, to be fair, my parts have done their job admirably and I don't really need them anymore. Especially if they're going to start making trouble. Today, for instance, was one of those troubling days. I went to the OB this morning and he informed me, rather unceremoniously, that the cyst on my ovary had doubled since I last saw him (three weeks ago). Ah, so THAT explains the excruciating pain in my side... But, I had a lot to do today so laying around wasn't really an option. I did all I had to do (and then some) and was finally on my way home when it really hit. Hard. I'm talking about doubled over, shouting profanities, weeping loudly and wondering-if-I-should-pull-over-and-call-an-ambulance-on-the-freeway hard. But here's the crazy part. My thought process was not at all in line with what my body was trying to tell me. I actually thought, and I kid you not, "I should stop really quick at Learning Express to get that gift I need - I'm right here after all and I don't want to have to drive all the way back to Ann Arbor. Anyway, if I do need to call an ambulance they could probably get better parking in front of the store." What kind of insanity is that?? Luckily, there was some small shred of common sense within me and I drove home. Though I will confess to making a quick stop at Dad's house to drop off the gifts I had already purchased. Poor Dad. As I limped, crying and grabbing my side, into the house with my gifts he asked what was wrong. I told him that my "business" was giving me grief. I'm a grown woman and I still can't say the word "ovary" to my Dad. WTF? Anyway, I have an entirely new found respect for those that deal with chronic pain. I simply cannot imagine. It is exhausting, physically and emotionally. The pain was so bad that I could not get away from it. Nothing felt comfortable, nothing made it better. I was absolutely beside myself. Thank the Lord for Vicodin. Here's the even crazier part. As I was moaning, crying and rolling around in agony on my bed, Joe said "Why didn't you schedule this for the beginning of December? The Doctor told you it was bad so why didn't you just get it done?" "Because I had a lot to do. If I don't take care of all the Christmas stuff, who will?" WHAT? Honestly, is that that most ludicrous thing you've ever heard? I think I will take the time off after my surgery to reflect on the airline policy on oxygen masks. If I don't put mine on first, I'm sure as hell not going to be able to help anyone around me.