Baby, It's Cold Outside

Seriously. It is REALLY cold outside – wind chills below zero. I went out last night to tuck in the animals and I felt really bad for them. I was bundled from head to toe and was still cold. I even put on one of those over the face ski mask looking things - fashion be damned. As I was putting it on though, I said to my son, “Honey, why does this face mask thing feel wet?” My husband chimed in by saying “Didn’t we see the cat over by that just a little while ago….?” Story of my life.

Anyway, we walked out to check on the animals and I just started thinking to myself about all of the ways that I’m a bad pet owner. Maybe if I didn’t own these animals they could have found a home in Florida where it’s warm. Maybe if I didn’t have them fenced in the goats could live in the wild, off the land, in a cave. Maybe there’s someone out there who actually wouldn’t mind have a pig in the house. (They’d have to be stark raving mad of course which might present further problems for Phineas but at least he’d be indoors!) And my poor sweet llama. Maybe he could’ve found a less neurotic herd to be in charge of. You know, without a pig that chews on his leg and goats that actually appreciate his tender loving care. Sigh. So I apologized profusely to the group, added extra straw to the stall and bid them goodnight.

I usually don’t mind winter at all. I love the snow and the ice and even the tricky driving (mostly). But this cold, well, this is something else entirely. The teachers must hate it too because the kids probably won't go out for recess which seems like a big nightmare. It makes the evenings worse too because, while I'd like to sit by the fire reading and sipping (spiked) hot cocoa, the kids don't seem to be all that hip to it. They are full of energy and have no way to expend it other than to pick on each other, complain to me about it and torment the dog.

If I've told them once I've told them a thousand times, "Sugar doesn't like to wear the Santa costume. We only make her wear it on Christmas and even then only long enough for a picture. Leave her alone. Go put the costume on your sister. Wait. Forget I said anything."

It's probably highly illegal to spike their hot cocoa with Melatonin, right? Yeah, Yeah, I thought so.