What's funny about this photo is that it looks like Hazel's happily holding a bone in her mouth. Not true. It's actually STUCK there. REALLY stuck. I didn't know what was happening at first. She jumped off the bed and was acting really weird. She seemed to be clawing at her face but I couldn't figure out why. I got out of bed to get a closer look and saw the bone. I tried to loosen it and get it off but she wasn't having it. She was fighting to get away from me and doing everything in her power to make that happen.
As a general rule I tend to be pretty good in emergency situations. But I've learned that mostly applies to people now that I really think about it. Animals are a totally different well, animal. They just don't understand that you're trying to help them and it freaks them out even more as you're forcing yourself on them to "help". She was running away from me as I chased her all through the house. Another fun fact - when there is a bone stuck in a dog's mouth, there will be lots of drool. Lots. Gushing amounts of drool. Disgusting.
Zoe was in bed and awoke to me screaming "Quick! Google "How to cut through bone". What the shit? No one should wake up to that request ever, it's just not healthy. On any level. The only thing she could find was that you should smack it with a meat cleaver. So I yelled, "Refine the search!! Check on "How to cut through a bone stuck on a dog's jaw!"
We weren't getting anywhere. I told Zoe to hold Hazel while I tried again to get the bone off. It was impossible but Zoe gave it her all. Hazel was scratching and twisting, shoving her legs around and making it generally impossible to get a firm hold on her. At this point I noticed that Hazel was starting to pant heavily - much like Zoe and I after the wrestling match - so I decided we needed to call the vet.
After a number of mix-ups (went to the wrong place and waited there 20 minutes for a vet who had no idea we were even there) we ended up at a 24 hour emergency vet's office. Since it was, by this time, about 11:30 pm, the doors were locked and we had to be buzzed in. The tech that came to greet us looked at Hazel - who was now happily wagging her tail, excited to meet a new friend - and with a questioning look said, "Can I help you?" Because it actually looked like nothing was wrong with her.
I just gestured to the dog and said "She has a bone stuck on her face." The tech looked a little closer and said, "Oh! I guess she does!" Meanwhile, real emergencies (pets injured and dying) were coming in and Zoe and I had to stand there like idiots telling everyone, "Yup. Got a bone stuck on her face."
They ended up having to sedate her to remove the bone which, just so you know, costs about $164.00. I'm not blaming the vet's office. They provided a great service and saved the (stupid) dog. I'm mostly blaming the stupid dog. Most expensive dog bone ever.
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