Have A Nice Trip....

I have never been a graceful person. Ever. I have always been prone to slipping, falling, crashing and tumbling everywhere I go. I had a friend who used to tell me “You’re not clumsy, you’re just athletic and therefore, unafraid to move your body." Whatever. I still land on my @ss a lot of the time.

Case in point. I went out with a friend last night for dinner. I had recently helped him with some child care issues and he offered to take me out to repay me for it. So I’m comfortable with this person but not so much that I’m ready to completely embarrass myself.

Anyway, it was raining really hard last night. Torrential downpours actually. He offered to drop me off at the door to the restaurant but I didn’t think that was necessary. There was a close parking spot and I said that we could just “make a break for it”. Except I was wearing cute sandals. Cute sandals that are not made for “Tough Mudder type” dashes through deep puddles of water.

He parked the car and we jumped out and started to run for the door. I might also mention that there were about four people standing under the awning outside the restaurant (wisely) waiting for the rain to stop before going to their cars. So, you know, witnesses.

I took about two steps before the first sandal came off. Went flying, actually. I turned to go after it and then the other sandal, now soaking wet, went sideways on me. My friend, being a gentleman, had also stopped in the middle of this downpour to see what was going on with me. He said “Just take off your shoes” and I said, “No, I’ve got this. No problem. Hold on.” I did not have this. Not at all. I continued to try to get my shoes back under me with limited success. Meanwhile, the people in front of the restaurant were now alternating between laughing out loud and yelling encouragement. “Take off the shoes!”, “Leave them behind!”, “Run for it!”

My face was beet red by the time we got to the front of the restaurant plus we were SOAKED. I must’ve looked like a drowned rat and my shoes were still a bit slippery. This is so “par for my course”. On my first date with my (now) ex-husband, I fell backwards over a cinderblock. In a skirt.

During my high school graduation I “walked out” of my shoe during the processional. The sweet guy I was walking with, Todd, had no idea why I was pulling away from him and running back through the oncoming graduates. He looks so incredibly confused in the video.

Maybe this is why I’m single….