Sometimes You Can't Pull Up

A very dear friend gave me this advice when I called her yesterday. I told her I was really struggling to "pull up" and get through my day. I was feeling sad, angry and really out of sorts. I was frustrated that I couldn't make myself better and just get over it. She said, "There will be days when you just can't pull up. Your best bet is to just keep her steady." And sometimes that looks an awful lot like popcorn and movie night with the kids.

The sadness comes over me in waves sometimes and it's rarely when I expect it. I can be doing just fine and then something will set me back - a thought, a memory, a feeling. It feels like a physical blow to the gut when it hits and it's so debilitating. I get upset and sad so easily sometimes. I'm usually pretty controlled and on top of things but the divorce is just not what I expected. I didn't exactly expect to feel happy throughout the process but I didn't think it would be this hard either.

And I'm convinced that this time of year is tricky for all mothers, not just me. It's a time for transition - kids going back to school, getting back into the routine of it all - and I guess that, this year, I've had enough change already, thank you very much. I know a lot of moms around me who are struggling as well. Making sure you have all the school paperwork filled out, the classes signed up for and the uniform payments made, can take a lot out of a gal. Especially when you have more than one child. Plus, there's all of those orientation meetings to attend and information to load onto the family calendar. Planning ahead for days when the kids won't be in school is one more thing to consider.

It's all overwhelming me right now and I'm just not sure how to handle it all. But what option do I have? None. It has to be done and I have to be the one to do it, so I will.

Still, please allow for some upcoming whining....