Break it Down Now

I seriously think I might be having a nervous breakdown.  Or at least some sort of breakdown.  I can only speak of it now because it happened the day before yesterday and the fog is just starting to lift.  The problem is that I’ve been spending waaaaay too much “quality time” with my kids lately and it’s apparently driven me to the brink of madness.  Kind of should have seen that coming, I guess, knowing my kids as I do.  It’s not that I don’t love them (I DO) it’s just that I love them more when I limit my contact with them.

Kids are just a different animal altogether.  Adults like to sit and talk and drink alcohol.  Kids like to run and yell and ride bikes.  I have often explained to the kids that they can do their thing while I do my thing (making the concession that I’d be sitting on the front porch watching them do their thing) but it never really works out.  I swear to you that if I hear “Watch me!! Are you watching me? You’re not even watching me!” one more time I might actually completely lose it.

I was talking with some friends last night about an upcoming couples’ trip that we’ll be taking. I was really excited to talk about the plans and all the fun that we would have when suddenly I looked at my daughter. She was crying. Oh! “Sweetie, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“All you want to do is get away from us!” she sobbed. “Why did you even HAVE kids if you just want to get away from them.”

Let me clarify before you get all “Oh, the poor little baby, she’s not feeling loved”.  She’s plenty loved, both the kids are. I live, sleep, eat and breathe those kids. We just got back from a FOUR DAY family camping trip (minus the husband so it was ALL ME). Prior to that I spent the entire week at the 4-H fair, meeting their every need. Getting away from them after that seemed like a pretty good idea.

While the husband and I are off on this trip, the kids will be with their grandparents at their favorite place on earth, Drummond Island. So it’s not like I’m leaving them with some mean, burly, troll-like babysitter who will do nothing fun at all. They LOVE being up North with Grandma and Grandpa. But even when I reminded her of this, she continued to cry.

I tried to explain the bit about how I need to put my oxygen mask on first so that I can save everyone else but the analogy was lost on her. But it is not lost on me. 

A Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do.