Close Call

I’ve survived yet another brush with death. Or at least it feels that way. I ended up in the Emergency Room the other night with kidney stones. Never having had them before I naturally assumed I was going to die. The only other time that I felt a similar amount of pain was when I was in labor. To be fair, I was in labor for all of about 20 minutes before being rushed off to get a C-section, but it was a rough 20 minutes. My sisters are natural born birthers – honestly, they were troopers all the way through. Sue gave birth in a birthing center with NO DRUGS and Kelly’s babies were all over 10 lbs (and at least one was born with no drugs).

Me? Well, I asked for the epidural at 7 months and was ready for the C-section at the doctor’s earliest convenience. With Zoe I actually did go into labor and they were going to make me deliver but it turned out that Zoe was breech. Whew. I was totally unprepared for an actual delivery. Joe and I had dropped out of Lamaze class and went to dinner and a movie instead.

Anyway, back to my near death experience… I started having pain around 4:00 pm and decided that I’d better get to the hospital. I had no idea what might be wrong – appendicitis, ectopic pregnancy, total body sepsis. The pregnancy thing really had me freaked out because I’ve seen waaaay too many episodes of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”. Lots of time spent screaming at the screen, “Come ON – how could you NOT know???”

So I figured it would be best to go to the hospital. Just in case. Now let me tell you one thing – my family is the best family on the planet when it comes to a crisis. We can mobilize quickly and efficiently, working out child care and car rides in a matter of moments. We thrive in an emergency setting. Needless to say, I got to the ER quickly and efficiently (Thanks Dad!).

After a VERY long wait in the waiting room, I finally got into a room to see the doctor. He informed me that they were going to start an IV and get me some pain meds – NOW we’re talkin’.

While I have many strengths, one of them is NOT that I have good veins. They’re horrible as a matter of fact. Everyone that tries to poke me misses at least once. By the time the third nurse was ready to take a stab at me, Joe and the kids showed up. Zoe was hysterical. Let me just summarize the situation – I’m in screaming, agonizing pain but my daughter is totally freaked out and crying. Yet another instance where I have to be the adult. Ugh. So as the nurse has stabbed the needle into my arm and is shifting it side to side to hit the vein, I’m smiling and telling Zoe that everything is fine. When it most certainly was not. All I really wanted at that point was the damn pain meds. The nurse came in with the meds and said “ok, here we go”. Finally, I could sense relief on the horizon. Almost. As soon as she started putting the meds into my IV I was faced with another challenge. With the kids about 2 feet away from me, I leaned over to the nurse and said, “I think I might be sick.” Good grief.

After NINE hours in the ER they sent me home with some Vicodin and their best wishes. The doctor told me that the stone should “pass” within 12 hours but that I should also be aware that they saw another stone on the other side as well. Great news.

Today was pretty bad. Never mind that it’s about 400 degrees out today and I was in the worst pain of my life. I think things finally resolved around noon today but I’m in such a Vicodin fog that I can’t really be sure. Either way, I’ve had enough and I’m going to bed. Tomorrow has GOT to be a better day.