Spring Break? Seriously?

Spring Break?

I’ve heard it said that a mom going on a family vacation isn’t a vacation at all but a trip with the kids. How very true.

Our family decided to venture to Chicago for spring break this year. Joe and I were so excited to show the kids all the sights and sounds of a big city – the food, the museums, and the art. The kids mostly just wanted to swim in the hotel pool.

Moms and Dads have an entirely different way of approaching family trips (or at least Joe and I do). I packed the kids’ things carefully making sure to include good walking shoes, warm clothes, toothbrushes, shampoo, bathing suits, electronics for the car and so on and so on. I also made sure to stock my purse with gum, cough drops, band-aids, children’s Motrin, Dramamine and matches – you just never know. It should go without saying that I ended up forgetting to pack a coat for myself. I spent the week trying to act like I wasn’t frozen when I really, really was. It should also be noted that I threw my back out right before we left so I survived on a diet of Motrin and heating pads for the entire trip. Martyr? Who me?

Joe had done a lot of research before the trip. He’d gotten travel books from the library and figured out most of the things we’d need to know to get around the city. He knew, for instance, that if you don’t get to Shedd Aquarium by 9:00, you could end up waiting two hours just to get in. Really good information to have.

We started our first day with a quick breakfast and then headed right to the aquarium. Almost immediately upon entering, the kids tried to scatter in separate directions, as kids will do. In the past I might have judged the people who put leashes on their kids, but this trip had me rethinking that. At least those people got to look at the fish. I was too busy darting my eyes around like a crazy lady trying to make sure that I had visual contact with both kids at all times. Joe got to read all the signs about the fish, where they live and how they feed. Me? Not so much.

Around 2:00 the rumblings began from the kids that they were hungry. We had obviously pushed them past lunch so I mentioned this to Joe so we could take a break and have something to eat. Apparently, I forgot to check the “imaginary itinerary” because eating, resting and breaks weren’t on it.

“We only have one more floor to finish then we’ll be done with the aquarium and we can head out for some Chicago style pizza,” he said.

“Oh,” I said, “I guess that will work. The pizza place is pretty close right?”

“Yep, we’ll just take the blue line to the red line, catch the 146 bus and get off at Michigan Ave. From there it’s only about eight blocks!”

Seriously? The whining was reaching a fevered pitch at this point. It must be that women have different hearing acuities than men because, to me, it was deafening but Joe was completely unaffected. It probably helped that he was about 10 feet ahead of us at all times…

Luckily, I had had the forethought to grab some of the leftovers from breakfast and was able to ration out a few warm grapes and a slightly squished orange wedge to keep the kids at bay. I also produced an old granola bar that was smashed up but still edible. When the kids rejected this sad and measly offering of food, Joe proclaimed that “They must not really be hungry then”. Sigh.

Joe was enthralled with the city – the hustle and bustle, the people and all the great food. I couldn’t quite get into it in the same way. Exploring and enjoying a city is not exactly the same as it was “pre-kids”. Throughout the entire trip I was tuned in to who might be hungry, thirsty, tired, bored, overwhelmed or in need of a bathroom RIGHT NOW. I tried to be two steps ahead of every request so that it wouldn’t turn into some kind of “emergency”. Joe said that I was coddling them. I know that you moms out there understand what I’m saying – “Mom Mode” is a 24/7 kind of thing that can’t be turned off. No matter where you are, you’re anticipating needs of everyone and trying to stay ahead of it. Have you ever caught yourself asking your (adult) friend if she has to use the potty before you leave? Enough said.

After the trip I was exhausted and paralyzed by the load of laundry waiting to be done. There were no groceries in the house and everyone was suddenly starving. Right back at it.

Once we settled in and I was able to touch base with some other mom friends I started to hear many of the same complaints. One friend, whose name I won’t mention, told me the story of her troubles on their spring break road trip.

She had dutifully packed a bunch of healthy snacks and sandwich fixings for the long drive. She had drinks and even fruit! At the first stop (I think it was Baker Road) her husband led the charge into the gas station to get “other” snacks. As she sat staring at her humble ham and cheese slices, the children paraded back out with cracker jacks, Gatorade, Pringles and Doritos. When the husband took his place behind the wheel and opened a giant Slim Jim, she lost it.

Is it a lack of communication between the spouses or is it just that men and women are programmed differently? For men it seems to be about the destination and how quickly and efficiently they can get there and get it all done. For women it’s more about the journey and noting the presence of every bathroom in a three mile radius. For the kids it’s just about an indoor pool. Maybe we’ll save some money and stay in Ann Arbor next time…